Manual Bullying Vs. the Inalienable Right to Empathy

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Its goal is not to punish but to develop empathy and mend relationships. The offender is expected to make things right and to not repeat the behavior in the future. Rather than receiving external punishment handed out by an adult authority, the offender takes ownership of his actions and is actively involved with repairing the damage done. It is an educational approach that aims to teach responsibility, change attitudes, and replace destructive behavior with constructive choices.

Formal restorative justice programs are appropriate for secondary students and we also practice restorative justice with young children when we ask them how they can fix the mess they made, including emotional hurt they may have caused others. Through mediation and restorative justice processes, students learn how their actions are personal choices and that their choices have consequences on people and communities. They learn the invaluable quality of empathy and compassion and how to restore harmony. Even with strong prevention efforts conflicts and violence of many forms and intensities will still arise.

Mediation and restorative justice are not the answer for all offenses. Yet we can address all those other negative behaviors on the middle and lower ends of the violence continuum in more constructive ways that teach, model, and expect better behavior. Leave a comment. Tags: building trust , changing school culture , empathy , Mediation , positive school climate , Relationships , responsibility , Restorative Justice , safe school climate , school violence , violence continuum , zero-tolerance discipline policies.

Aug You are Trevor. What did the experience look like from the perspective of each participant? One of the common feelings is fear.

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Maybe the call upsets the parent who is also having problems with the child at home and he is worried that you think he is a bad parent. Maybe…Trevor is scared about being punished both at school and at home,. He knows the home punishment will be physical. Fear and insecurity are major impediments to developing a relationship.

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But we can imagine what it may be like for parents to get dressed for a meeting at school, to go into the building, check in at the office, walk down the hall, wait until it is time to go in, walk into the classroom, sit down across from the teacher, and then listen to what she has to say about their child. This fear and insecurity can manifest in defensiveness with a poor choice of words, harsh language, aggressive body language and facial expressions, raised voices, and, in the extreme, threats of violence, and it interferes with meeting the goal: to help the child take responsibility for his actions and do better in the future.

Casual and newsy communications help the teacher and the parent become familiar with each other. The interactions reduce those understandable fears and develop a level of trust that lets them work as a team for the child. The trick is to use the positional power that comes with being the teacher through a lens of empathy and compassion. The goal then is to do things that set up a foundation of trust that creates a working partnership between teacher and parents, which ultimately benefits the child.

Here are some ways to do this. Parents are concerned about their children, and so are we; they have a profound responsibility, and so do we; they know a lot about what makes their child tick, and so do we; they want a bright future for their child, and so do we. It is just plain natural that we should work together as a team.

Tags: building trust , changing school culture , empathy , positive school climate , Relationships , safe school climate , violence prevention , welcoming parents. Jul And odds are you have a few students in your classroom who are both highly sensitive and introverted. As you read the list, you may find yourself thinking, this sounds like my shy students. Shyness is fear and anxiety in social situations. Introverts might seem or are treated as shy because they are quiet while they listen to others, process internally, and then reflect on ideas and possibilities.

But introverts and extroverts are simply wired differently and therefore react differently to stimuli. The brain of an introvert would feel pleasantly stimulated by solitary activities, while the brain of the extrovert would be pleasantly stimulated by a higher level of sensory input. And both personalities need the chance to merely feel and act like themselves without feeling they are lacking.

Understanding our bully-in-chief: Donald Trump's "antisocial personality disorder" fits a pattern

She wishes teachers could see inside the mind of the sensitive child, the rich world where the creativity, wisdom, empathy, and compassion lie. There are ways you can do this. And work to understand yourself better. Then consider how this personality style affects your teaching. What adjustments could you make so all children have a chance to thrive and shine in your classroom? Tags: building trust , changing school culture , empathy , forces at work , Motivation , new school year , positive school climate , Relationships , respect. Oct I am a person, like you are. I have feelings, like you do.

I have rights, like we all have. You are not better than me.

Presentation Primary School Midleton / St Brigid’s Primary School » Anti-Bullying Policy

Tags: bullying , discrimination , empathy , harassment , positive school climate , power , protecting our children , Relationships , respect , violence prevention. Aug 6. Widely used and widely misunderstood. Some people defend it while others condemn it. Is the line between sarcasm and innocent humor really that fine? Not if you look at what makes sarcasm unique.

Sarcasm is saying the opposite of what we mean; there is an intentional contradiction between the literal meaning of the words and the social and emotional intent. It is a putdown couched in humor meant to embarrass or hurt, motivated by negative emotions — frustration, disgust, disdain, futility, anger, even hate — communicated through the context, the words chosen, and the inflection used. Because it comes out of left field like a stomach punch, with enough of a grain of truth to breed insecurity.

It puts us off-balance, even adults, and is particularly hurtful when aimed at children who expect adults to speak the truth. Sarcasm is verbal aggression with a smile, a sideways way to express criticism, which is actually more hurtful than the honest criticism it replaces. It is intentionally dishonest and kids need honesty to feel secure. The lack of understanding of the difference between humor and sarcasm and the venting it provides, and the false belief that it produces results, perpetuate the use of sarcasm for classroom management, student reprimands, and motivation.

Yet, fear of embarrassment or ridicule is not a healthy motivator. With older students, sarcasm might get a laugh from the other children and short-term compliance from the target. But at what cost?

A backlash of resentment and retaliation towards the teacher? Modeling the very disrespectful, unkind behavior that we complain about? Good-natured humor, unlike sarcasm, is not mean or targeted at a specific person or group. It is a shared enjoyment of a comical or ironic situation, cleverness, or wordplay, motivated by our basic need to have fun. Laughing together helps us connect with each other and strengthens our bond. It is healthy, even necessary, especially in classrooms where students are our captive audience. Albuquerque City Schools offers this advice.

Have the Lights of Reason and Empathy Gone Out?

And to think it only took you half of the morning to do it. I appreciate those of you who were quietly seated when the bell rang today. Posted in Bullying and Harassment , Ideas to try , Perspectives. Tags: building trust , bullying , compassion , empathy , feelings , malice , Motivation , new school year , positive school climate , Relationships , respect , victims , violence continuum.

Apr The only way to develop more allies is to educate students and adults about the roles they play in bullying. Participating in bullying role plays and discussing it with each other sensitizes everyone to the perspectives of all the players. This fosters empathy and compassion for the victim, builds a feeling of efficacy — I can do something to make this better — and creates a support group of peers who want to do the right thing.

Students come away with the powerful understanding that their choices affect how they and their classmates are treated.

When SJWs fight cyberbullys no one wins

For this understanding to translate into a change of attitudes and behavior, students must hear and believe these five messages from adults:. To show you mean it, make posters of these five messages to post around the school. With these messages clearly delivered and received, we can teach students to take a stand to not join in bullying using strategies that convey confidence, show resistance, and assess situations.

Role plays offer practice for:. Doing the right thing takes personal courage and the ability to assess the situation. Acting as an ally or defender does not mean trying to break up a fight or getting into an altercation with a bully, and if you are the victim, standing up to a bully at that moment is not always the best choice. There is no set approach to stopping bullies in their tracks; specific circumstances and those involved determine the nature of each interaction. Bullies are often physically and mentally strong, act in groups, and have a sense of entitlement that is resistant to correction.

Standing up to them does not always work and the target or ally can get hurt in the process.

Learn more about the Convention on the Rights of the Child

Sometimes the best thing is to get away and seek help immediately. To encourage reporting, some schools have successfully set up bullying hotlines to give students a secure way to report problems. Victims should only stand up to a bully and an ally or group of allies should only intervene face-to-face when it feels safe to do so. Then they can firmly tell the perpetrator:. The roles students play in cyberbullying are similar to face-to-face bullying, but cyberbullying requires additional cautions when you consider how public it is.

Social media makes it easy to do, bullies can share photographs and cheerleaders can make anonymous comments, and the size of the potential audience is immense.


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The cyberbully feels protected and powerful because she does not have to face her victim, while the impact on the victim is immediate, widespread, and devastating.